Saturday, October 4, 2008

You just called an "E" asshole!

A Librarian-Petite, A bit shy, MA-library management,proper manners & moral.Esteem the family traditions & family.Prefers to think properly before my words/action. I’m Sensitive;Very Emotional-get interest for others emotions & values. There's a lot of love in heart for the right man & in return to receive it. Seek a meaningful LTR with intellectually equal companion who can command my respect & would respect also my thoughts,opinions & perspective.Passion, tenacity,tolerance & love of laughter are important.But the reciprocation on all levels& communication are essential elements in every relationship, if is to endure. Look for a complete honest,Loyal, White, Graduated, Christian man, 43-59yo who’ll love &adore me- a strong man with strong& good heart who’ll want our relationship to last forever.HIS WILLING TO RELOCATION TO ME COULD BE AN OPTION. No Piercing, Tattoos, Long-Beard/Hair. NO Black,BG,Eastern-Europe,Arabic.

WOW! This lady is a 24/7 52 weeks a year PMS sufferer. I wouldn’t be all too surprised if she rolled into Sam’s Club with her own Semi truck to get pallets worth of Pamprin. I’m about as shocked that she is single as I was seeing Clay Aiken on the cover of People proclaiming he is gay. I mean, jeez, my gadar had to be sent into the shop due to an overload during the Season 2 auditions!

When I first ran through this ad, all I could think was a lady who would beat her partner sensless with a Bible if he even thought of wearing less then full flannel pajamas to bed. She would be sure to have a box of Kleenex on each side of the bed so Skippy could wipe his member off after their hot 5 minutes of missionary sex, during which, she would skillfully solve all the puzzles on Wheel Of Fortune. The only sounds made during this previously scheduled event would be her snapping at him because his head was in the way of the TV screen.

Then I saw this-->
HOLY FUCKING SHITBALLS! That woman scares the hell out of me!! Some people can’t be nearly as picky as she is. It’s just the law of life. When you resemble a partially blind drag queen that got ready in the back of a 74 Volkswagon Rabbit that had no shock or suspention system left, you need to lower the bar a touch. Like, ground level. It's not like I could post an ad and hope to snag Vin Diesel. Let's be realistic!

Also, make sure to get paper bags when grocery shopping, too. Visitors won’t take kindly to having plastic wrapped over their melons when they walk through the door. You’ll thank me for this advice later, you fucking whacko.

I can’t help but look for an adam’s apple…

I think if you're a male, with a pulse, running far away and hiding out would be your safest bet. She hates you and anything like you. Just accept it and move on.


SweetPea said...

I'm riveted... but not in a good way. Mary, I also was looking for an adams apple... there just has to be one there!!

*grabs magnifying glass and sticks nose to the screen*

Ella said...

I don't think this woman has any right to discriminatory towards ANYONE considering the mug on her.

Rin said...

Ok now, really... here's my admission. I'm a librarian. I decided to try the online dating thing. not me.

I was seeking more of a "fun, playful relationship" (I use the term relationship loosely) What I ended up with was a husband who was my intellectual equal, who respects my thoughts, opinions and perspective, makes me laugh, makes me lot of other noises, and really, i couldn't be happier. Maybe that's the official standard that all librarians are required to adhere to or something. My husband wasn't exactly looking for a wife, either.

Number of people who have visited WMHW when they should be working: