Saturday, October 11, 2008

Will you be my ATM?

Seeking finaincal help
Help me out, i just moved to the area and need some money for rent and some other things, it wont be cheap but we can get to know each other and see how things go. Cam


Short and sweet, don’t you think? What Cam is really saying is, "I’m a lazy slob that couldn’t get a job scraping the gum off of park benches so I want to be able to just lay on my back, twitch a little, and have my bills paid for me. However, before you can fork over half of your paychecks to cover all my needed expenses like a weekly truck load delivery of Krispy Kremes and subscriptions to all the gossip magazines as well as Cam’s running tab at KFC, you have to do what you men love to do…talk, and court, and talk, and spend money on dates, and talk, and send mushy text messages, and talk, and spend more money trying to get in my pants to find out if the sex is even worth going back for seconds let alone paying my bills."

Odds are that Cam was pushed out of the last town she lived in by an angry mob of town folk carrying torches and pitchforks. “Out you hideous beast! OUT!” They would scream into the night all while pelting poor Cam with a tasty assortment of olives. See, the town had a problem with Cam’s type. You know the type I speak of. Too lazy to work, 30 or more unfixed cats spraying their scent all over the house making it smell so strong, the town folk’s eyes burned if they got less then two blocks away. Cam would seduce the drunk men that hid in the dark corners of the area dive bars so their wives couldn’t find them, then black mail them into buying her some kitty litter and Meow Mix. The only reminder her married lover would have to remember her by was the urine and hairball stained jeans and a rash that resembled rotten cauliflower.
Want to know what men hate about women like this? EVERYTHING! The only upside is at least Cam is forward about it. Most will drag you through the mud with a false idea that they actually like you and want you to touch them!




FYI, this picture did not come with this ad. I'm assuming our poster looks more like the following:

4 comments:

Amaocha said...

Oh god...
She's probably fuglier than some of the minis on FHOTD if she needs to post an ad. Her brain cells are all probably dead if she can't actually find an other way to
Seriously, if you have charm and good looks, you should be able to separate a client from their cashflow just by smiling across the room.
Not that I'm saying one should even do that to begin with, but I'm sure my sugar daddy can agree. Err I mean... You didn't hear that :D

joking aside though, she should stop complaining, get a job and be able to be independent. As my grandmother says "A woman should make enough money to support herself without having to rely on a man."

horsegal said...

Welcome back, Mary!

Ggggaaawwddddd, this chick kills me. But where there is a chick bold enough to post something like that, there is a big dumb guy ready to fork it over... *sigh*

CutNJump said...

Gee if a Sugar Daddy is what you are after, there are plenty in the candy aisle at any local grocery...

And to think I could have TWO of them any day of the week, just for putting out a little, here and there...

Oh, that's right I have a thing in the way called morals. Damn those any ways...

I do know a gal who has everything paid for and she doesn't have to put out. Then again she IS married to the poor bastard. Living with him is punishment enough, but then she is no picnic either!

Kaiser Villaviciencio said...

For a guy, I like a girl who can responsibly pay her bills while keeping a job or working on her own. If she can do that, I think she's an ideal wife who can take care of her own family, especially her kids. Even if she has to borrow some money, she will. So she can pay all her short-term debts. Thanks for sharing this, Mary.

Number of people who have visited WMHW when they should be working: