Monday, October 13, 2008

Community College At It's Finest

Well Ladies and, ummm, Weasel (and maybe the one other guy that reads this)? Someone stepped up to the plate and hit a home run! Miss CutNJump is showing me up and I'm lovin' it! So without further ado:

New nurse looking for someone to assessI'm a quiet girl who likes to hang at home or go out, I'm not cocky and full of myself(always a plus) and I'm looking for somebody sweet who likes to have fun. I'm expecting my first little boy in a couple of monthes and I can't wait until he's here. I live at home with mom and dad for now. Looking for a new job after my surgery. I guess if I meet the right person I'll know. Looks are not everything, they can be deceiving. Sammy

Well now Sammy, several visuals are forming here… None of them are good.

Are you wanting to assess my ass, asses or my assets? Just to be clear- stay away from all three.

You are expecting a child and new to the nursing field. Did you miss the section on fertility and reproduction? Biology 101 wasn’t it? Or human anatomy? Anyways, you might be a quiet girl who likes to hang out, but look where it got you. Knocked up! You’re expecting a little one soon, probably have no contact with the dad, which many of us guess with the accuracy of an arrow shot out of Robin Hoods bow, you aren’t sure who that really is anyways. *wink* To top it off, you are living at home with your parents. What a prized 'catch' you are, Sammy!

You say it is a plus that you are not cocky or full of yourself, but really now. You must not be, since the only cock you have seen has been a few months ago now, save your vibrator in the nightstand drawer. You say you aren’t full of yourself? True, your tummy is full of someone else. Or at least the result of a couple of table spoons of protein infused, joy juice he unloaded the last time he hit it and quit it. Should have gone with the vibrator all along, Sammy. You wouldn’t be in this position. Looks can be deceiving as you say, and apparently your latest lover was too....


Biskuits said...

Hahaha, a fine job, CnJ! That was fantastically entertaining ;}

CutNJump said...

Gee, I know WHY I am preggo and HOW I got that way. Am I on my way to a nursing degree too or just way ahead of the learning curve? ROFL!

I'm glad she states she will be looking for a job AFTER she hatches. That way I KNOW she won't be around when I deliver the Rotten twins!

ChestnutJumper784 said...

Spay and neuter; someone should have put a diaphragm in her cooter!

Anonymous said...

Did Bristol Palin dump her boyfriend already?

Sorry that was too easy :}

Ella said...

Wait so what is she looking for? someone to 'assess'?? WTF! take care of your kid, woman!

water_bearer said...

Awesome job CNJ! Too funny. Seriously. This has to be a 16 year old, right?

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