Saturday, October 25, 2008

Express Lube

I am going to be honest here - w4m - 21
I have fallen on some tough times and I don;t have enough money to pay to get my oil changed. I would like to have a man change my oil for no cost, and in return I will let you choose one of the following: First, I will give you head until you ejaculate as long as you wear a condom, or two, I will let you finger me in my pussy or asshole while I stroke you until you cum. Or, I can let you masturbate by my face while I blow warm air on your dick. I will blow for as long as it takes for you to have an orgasm. I won't actually suck your dick, but I think blowing air on it will be exciting. The guy who helps me out will be happy they did. And then we can do the same thing every time I need my oil changed if you want. I need my oil changed ASAP because I am 3,000 miles over where I am suppose to be from where I was told I needed to have my oil changed. Jessica

Where to start! If a man could get off with a hair dryer mounted to his headboard, why on Earth would he need to get greasy to shoot his 3” of ranging thunder with you? I believe the term was taken too literal with Jessica here.

Warm air being blown might be hot for say, oh, I don’t know, a woolly mammoth that is within a block of frozen Sperm Whale piss,. But for a red-blooded man, blowing your breath that smells a lot like you were eating cat turds for breakfast on his cock will get him off about as fast as watching Rosanne Barr doing jumping jacks while nude. You’re face within inches of his cock will incite the same amount of desire as old Ro’s “Hey Girl” arm wings flapping in the breeze a few short feet from his crotch.

After speaking with several of my favorite ball-sack bearers, I’ve learned the whole act of them driving their nubs into a woman’s vagina so they can massage her tonsils the hard way is just a route they take to sex. Sure, they say they enjoy it but there is a motive to their actions. Just fingering and going is not it.

By my calculations, you better be offering of $29.99 worth of service or the only men you’ll attract are those that couldn’t find their ass without TomTom GPS, let alone your oil pan. I have a better suggestion. Sell your car so you can afford it’s oil change.

1 comment:

Nosnikta said...

LOLOLOL "sell your car" lolololol

Stupid girl. I wonder what she'll offer for rent money.

Number of people who have visited WMHW when they should be working: