Does this mask make me look fat?

An EPIC mount!

Hello I need 5000 world of gold for my epic flying mount. In return you can mount me. You have to have an account on the laughing skull server and I want the 5000 gold BEFORE we do anything, we can make the trade at your place since I can't host. Because I am having a lot of dumb guys message me who clearly don't have the gold make SURE to send: a picture of yourself and a screenshot of your character with the 5000g, I will be checking armory profiles, thanks. I play a level 70 night elf druid and would prefer someone who was into roleplaying (I have a costume!) but honestly anyone will do, as long as you have the gold. I would also be ok with a woman too, as long as you have the gold! Also not adverse to the idea of groups\anal. Please send a pic and be real and drug\disease free with 5000 gold on the laughing skull server. Betty

I'm sure Betty's parents had high expectations for their daughter. They were sure to pick out the best schools, took on second or third jobs just so their sweet daughter could travel abroad and become something great like an Ambassador, International Trade Executive or a doctor saving lives in a third world country. They could see her skipping through a field of Black-eyed Susans, hand in hand with a Biologist from only the best of families. They bought her first computer to help aid in her studies and her path to greatness that would make history.

Imagine their sheer terror as their beloved daughter showed up for the family Christmas dinner looking like she had just spent the last week chasing down 3 year olds on their big wheels with her homemade Staff of Eternal Alchemy because the sounds of their gleeful giggling distracted her and prevented her from leveling up and taking the evils Sloth Lord down and gain bragging rights over her clansmen.

Just when poor ol' Mum and Dad thought it couldn't get any worse, Betty introduces her "boyfriend" whom she tells Aunt Rosemary that she met as the result of a 4 person gang bang at her apartment. In order to stop her Aunt's impending heart failure, she quickly adds, "It's okay! It's not like I did it for nothing. I got a shitload of WOW money so I could by myself a troll to assfuck me in-between battles!!"

Christmas will never be the same. Neither will Aunt Rosemary who is now snorting her applesauce through a rolled up Dilbert cartoon clipping in-between attempts to bite her own ear. The family will forever blame Betty for her nervous breakdown. But Betty will never tell her secret that Aunt Rosemary was part of the hot, sweaty and gnome filled night and where Betty got her 5000 gold.

Men try many different attempts to attract the opposite sex. They buy gifts, show random acts of kindness, even pretend to like your best friend when they would much rather strip naked, dip themselves into a vat of pig urine and roll around repeatedly on top of fire ant hill the size of Delaware then spend one more night listening to her ramble on about her cute Jack Russell terrier that eats the crotch out of her underwear. Never, in a million years, did young boys think that when they were all grown up, wearing their Superman Underoos while slouched over a keyboard for days on end would be the key to getting some ass.

I'll stick to the old fashioned way of getting a man...having a pulse and leaving my house more then once a year.