Thursday, May 21, 2009


I can't believe I ate ants for you

When you had a small group over for bbq at your place I pretended I didn't notice the tortilla chips had ants all over them and ate them anyway. I didn't want to cause a scene in front of your friends and make them question the sanitary quality of the food they were about to eat. Now that I have gotten absolutely nowhere with you I deeply regret this decision. ~Amee

Jesus H. Christ! How dare the nerve of this guy! I mean, here we have Amee sporting her flirty sundress, basking in the glow of a warm summer sun munching on Ants just to get your attention and you do what? Ignore her! I’ll have you know in some 3rd world countries it is a huge turn on for a saggy titted woman to march her leathery hide right over to the nearest rotting stump, kick it over and go to town on all the insects, arachnids and arthropods dwelling deep within the musty pulp and dirt. But not you! Oh no Sir! You opt to find a more civilized woman that doesn’t have a segmented creature wiggling it’s antennae out of her mouth like an inmate waving his arms out of the cell at the wisp of sunlight streaming inches from his grasp.

You self-righteous dick! I’m going to be forced to stick a beehive into your mail slot now. I bet that will make you think twice about calling Amee up for a date, won’t it??


Calantha said...

Well at least they weren't fire ants, Amee. You'd have been much worse off.

Cut-N-Jump said...

Sorry, but I haven't met a guy yet (and I am married!) that I would eat ants for, merely for the sake of impressing them!

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