The Mother Load: Revisited

Be Mama's Big Boy, come drink my fresh milk

OK, mommy needs her baby boy...
come lay in my lap and drink from my full breasts...
I'll keep you warm in a blanket and stroke your skin as you take your fill of my milk. mama rewards good boys, but if you are cranky at first that is ok, I'll take care of your needs. Send me a note telling me how thirsty and hungry you are. How badly do you need to latch on to my nipples while I keep you safe and warm like a good mommy should? more info makes this happen faster...and my TITS are feeling quite full, lets make this happen, Please help mama release some pressure. My place or yours. talk soon! Kathy

I’ll give everyone a minute to remove their head from the barf bag…Better now? No? Still seeing your morning coffee in reverse? Okay, one more minute for you…

Are we ready now? Great! If anyone else was a huge “Friends” fan like me, the image of Chandler and Ross jumping back with their eyes ready to roll out of their skull while Joey puts some of Carol’s stored breast milk into his coffee rushes into their mind like a raging, wheelbarrow wielding 45 year old lady, that owns over twenty cats, to a spilled truck load of Meow Mix. Granted, while watching that, you probably laughed it off but with poor Kathy here, you want to scratch your eyeballs out with a coat hanger and stab your thigh repeated with a used Spork just to make you think of something else, anything else. I agree completely!

Kathy’s attempts to find a mate by tempting the male gender with a nutritious, vitamin filled snack while they lay on a lap too small to hold them which belongs to a clearly unstable and barely legal stranger that has either overactive mammary glands, or a very small child attached to the other nipple, is preposterous! After all, what man will touch anything healthy without being threatened with bodily harm?

Maybe Kathy would have better luck saying her milk from her right breast tastes like a slider burger from White Castle and the left’s flavor would make them think they are chugging down an ice cold Miller Genuine Draft, as long as their eyes were closed and their tongue was covered in taste censoring blisters.

I wish Kathy all the luck in the world. After all, I remember the discomfort I felt when my breasts were so full of milk, I couldn’t even put my arms down at my side because, oddly enough, my armpits seemed to grow boobs. And I didn’t even have to lay on my back for that to happen! So any relief she can get is fantastic. Maybe we can put her in touch with Mack.

Guys, Wolverine is for you (and, come on, he's for me too! Rwarrr!) and I've given David Beckham to the ladies in hopes to prevent any scarring that I may be liable for. Weas uses cuteness, I use flat out fuckability! You're welcome.