Sometimes you just gotta say, "Eewww!"

Black4White - 27

I LOVE white men...but any race will do. Hit me up!

Holy fucking shitballs of hairy goat nads!! So I get this email titled, "somethin' for your blog...." from a reader we'll call ML The Evil. ML The Evil goes on to add, "Sorry you have to see this. I can’t imagine there are many men who want to either. Maybe I’m wrong. What do I know?" in the body of this email. Instead, she should of said, "Please get your yellow pages handy. Look up the nearest 24/7 therapist and call and make an appointment for 10 minutes from now. I will split the bill with you. It's the least I can do since I'm the sole source of the following pain. Thank you and, I'm sorry."

But no, she gives me something so mild, I thought maybe I was about to have the vision of a quickly aging Hollywood D-Lister posing in boy shirts and their 6 year old's T-Shirt. (Note: See Pamela Anderson going to Walgreens to pick up toothpaste)

No, no, no. Instead, ML The Evil gives me this --> (Click for a full viewing)

Now, don't get me wrong. The sheer size isn't the issue here. I, myself, resemble a Butterball Turkey, post defeathering but prior to adding losts of butter and baking at 375 degrees for 4 to 10 hours. My darling husband has made the comment that if he were to lick his hand and spank me, he would need to call 911 for Fire Rescue to detatch his hand that has froze to my pastey white bench warmer.

There are a couple things about that picture that bug me. My first reaction was that she looks like she is about to take a shit on that beautiful hardwood floor! Lady, do you know what people pay for a floor like that? Secondly, is she giving birth? Do I see fingers stretching forth trying to escape their cave of darkness? Do I hear sobbing and pleading voices screeching out, "For the love of all that is unholy, GET ME OUT OF THIS BITCH!" Lastly, is this the first living creature in the world that has a built in toilet paper dispenser? The inventor of this item was brilliant enough to place it close to the part of the body that requires it. Bravo! Bravo!

Atleast our friend isn't picky. You just have to be male. Way to take the pressure off!