All that work and you can't even sniff her panties...

No one wants to pretend? - 28 (Odenton)
So I got a few responses yesterday but only one that really caught my attention. But he didn't reply to my email. :( Also, I'm really only interested in guys under 40. So let's try this again...

I guess I'm looking for someone to treat me nice for at least tonight. Maybe pretend you're my boyfriend. We can meet at a bar and just be nice to me. Hold my hand, dance with me, tell me I look nice. I haven't had that in a really really long time. I would like to go out and have fun tonight, but not the Ooh, look at him, he's cute--I hope I don't have toilet paper stuck to my shoe-anxiety-inducing night.
I'm nice looking--5'6 blonde/blue, curvy. Your pic gets mine. Not looking for any freaky sex, just a nice guy. If just for tonight, that's okay. No strings, I promise. We can do fake names even. Cassie

Let me break this down for you all:

1. I’m needy.
2. I don’t think Sean Connery NOW is good looking.
3. You’re paying for everything. I’m broke.
4. I’ve read Cinderella 5 bagillionty times and base my life on it and it alone.
5. I’m needy and have self-created baggage.
6. My mom says I’m cute and true beauty comes from within.
7. It’s just the baby fat. No, I don’t have kids.
8. You won’t answer if my picture is up and if you’re ugly, I’m not replying.
9. Even though you buy everything and pretend to be Prince Charming, you’re still not getting in my pants.
10. No strings that you can see at least. I’ll be calling you 7 times a day for the next month crying, “Why don’t you like meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?”
11. If you give me a fake name and number, I’m going to boil your goldfish and shit in your shoes while you’re at work.

The rest of the single and sane women of the world thank you Cassie. All the men you have scared away are now taking them to dinner. Kudos.